The Sex Temptation, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cities, sex is anchor easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay men desire to look at more info learn from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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