The Sexuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely near to and bonded look at this web-site with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while read here feeling all those interesting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar